Emergency Alert Test Conspiracies
So I've known that there was supposed to be a test of the emergency alert system here in the good ole US of A today, October 4, 2023. My kids were the ones who told me about the alert, joking about how it's gonna freak us out. I didn't even think anything of it at all, since I have been sure it'll just be a loud annoying sound on my phone that's just like the tornado warnings we get on our phones every summer. Scare the crap out of me for the moment, but then move on with my day.
But the last few days I have been reading over and over and over again on all social medias that there's a bunch of conspiracies about it. Now, I love me a good conspiracy theory, so do my kids. We learned all about flat earth versus round earth, why people think humans never landed on the moon, all sorts of fun conspiracy theories. But these ones about the end of the world are just so irritating. Maybe it's the millenial in me, who's seen so many "end of the world" scenarios, that I've lost count.
So, from what I've gathered, from well meaning friends who want to make sure I'm informed (insert eyeroll here), that today's alert test is going to do all sorts of bad things to people. I've heard that the covid shot has nanobots in them, and this alert tone will activate them, to do what, I'm not sure. I've heard that the 5G that has been going up all over the country (and world maybe?) will amplify the tones. I've heard that ebola and marburg viruses will be triggered by the tones and start more deadly pandemics. I've heard that there will be lasers involved, and massive fires. I've heard that the starlink satelites are "fishy" and not what they seem to be. There's so many different conspiracy theories on this whole thing, that I just can't even try to connect the dots to why these people think these things.
Sometimes I really do think that people must get off on telling people things just to scare them. Like all of these people who are trying to "warn" people about the end of the world. I don't see any of this stuff happening yet at all. So many conservatives seem to be obsessed with this idea of the end of days, and all the bad things that will happen. So many of my friends say how they aren't afraid, they're just being prepared. Yes, let's listen to all the people who fear doomsday a dozen times a year, the ones that encourage fear and panic while simultaneously telling you not to panic.
I'm over all of these people who claim to be prophets of God, saying that they're giving you blessings and praying this or that protection over you. Like, that's not at all how any of that works. Have any of these so called prophets actually read the Bible? Not one of the prophets anywhere in the Bible boasted about being a prophet, none of them said they had prophetic visions, they just said the shit God told them to say, when God told them to say it. They didn't get to choose when they had visions or recieved prophecies.
I'm so over the constant fear and anxiety and panic that is rampant in Christianity these days. I'm over all these people who say that this is just another step on the path to Jesus' return, but then talk about how they're going to fight back against this or that new thing that they're scared of (honestly, it's like they're afraid of everything and lash out like a hurt dog). Maybe I've always done Christianity wrong, but wouldn't it make more sense to let the shit happen so Jesus can come back sooner? I don't see why people say how they can't wait to go to heaven, but then the same people are trying to push off what they think is the tribulation, or the birth pangs, or whichever biblical metaphor you want to use. If they think Heaven is going to be so damn great, why are they so afraid of things to come? I hear a lot of "well my kids haven't lived their lives yet!" okay, and? If it's the end of the world, wouldn't you want your kids to go to heaven and enjoy themselves there? Wouldn't heaven be less torturous than life on earth?
But hey, all this panic about the end of the world, and how people should be prepared, maybe I can drop a few links to products on Amazon that would be helpful for preppers. As always, I may recieve a small commission from anything you buy through my links.
Here's a hiking backpack you can buy on Amazon. Don't you know, you'll need it when the grid goes down. (insert eyeroll here)
Here's a safety helmet you'll need when them lasers start goin' off! Just make sure you paint it blue so the lasers don't getcha! (yes, this is sarcasm, but hey, buy it. It'll make me a bit of money.)
And of course, since all the cars won't work eventually, or we won't be allowed to own them, we'll all have to walk around, and many people will be hiking deep in forests anyway. Here's some hiking poles that could help you preppers out there.
Oh good lord! We can't forget the most important stuff of all! Freeze dried food! MREs!! All good preppers and end of the world people have these kinds of things ready!
Alright, I've shared some links with y'all, and I think y'all can feel the heavy sarcasm coming from this little old millenial. Let's see if I'm proven wrong, or maybe I'll see you when we're all zombies!
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