OnlyFans... What have I done?

Well, now I'm on OnlyFans, hoping that maybe I'm sexy enough to make enough money to support myself from that. OnlyFans is just one of the ways I'm working on making my own money. If you've followed this blog for any amount of time at all, you'd know that I have several different ways that I'm trying to make money, and that I have yet to be successful. But that's okay. I just have to keep trying.

I am very much a complete and total amateur in all things sex work. While when I was still with my husband, sure we had kinky sex, and he would sometimes take some sexy pictures of me (like the picture below), but it was just for us. Taking sexy pictures and videos for other people is a whole new ballgame for me. There's so many things that I need to learn, more than just taking sexy pictures. I need to learn how to take photos from the right angles with the right lighting. I need to learn how to draw people in with what I say. I need to learn how to seem sexy even if I don't feel like it. I need to learn how to tell people what I am and am not okay with doing. I need to learn how DMs and selling pictures in the DMs works. It's exciting, and it's also terrifying for me.

It's exciting and terrifying for me because I have a lot of self image issues, and for the longest time, I really hated my body. I felt completely gross. I gave birth to five babies, and have stretch marks all over, a muffin top of loose skin, and overall just ugly looking skin. I never believed my husband when he said I was sexy, and even other people who would say something to me, I didn't believe it either. I'm not even sure where the negative self image issues come from. When I was in high school, I was skinny and sexy, and I reveled in it. I made sure to dress as beautiful as I could through school, and I knew just how sexy I was. Then I got married and started having more kids. I didn't have a reason to even try to be sexy anymore. I had tiny human after tiny human every 2 years for 8 years. I was JUST a mom, and not a beautiful or sexy one. One with increasing stretch marks, and less and less self care time. My kids are all old enough now that I can take care of my self care, and they respect my need for time for myself. But the damage was done. It's going to take a lot of work to improve my self image, and part of that is recognizing that I am beautiful and can be sexy whenever I want because it's a mindset, it has nothing to do with my physical body. So part of my adventure into OnlyFans is to improve my self-esteem. 

Another reason for beginning to share pictures and videos on OnlyFans is because I don't know what kinds of sexual things I like. For the majority, if not all, of our marriage, I had participated in sexual actions just because I knew he liked them, not just because I enjoyed them. I'm pretty sure that a lot of my self-worth was tied into how much my husband enjoyed what I did with him. My self worth was tied up in sexual actions that I didn't truly enjoy due to past traumas in my life. So although we had a very sexual relationship, I didn't know what I actually enjoyed. So this venture into OnlyFans is partially an attempt for me to explore myself and learn what things I enjoy for myself, not what I "enjoy" because my traumas tell me to please men and be happy like that. 

Here's the link to my OnlyFans page! I have free subscription on, so you can get some lovely teasers!

 https://onlyfans.com/arrinnjamie